15 Traits of Irresistibly Influential People!
Updated: Feb 25, 2019
In a world where looking good (physically of course) is no more a genetic trait (blame it on the makeup or the dressing hacks) and where skills can be developed over the internet, there is a secret that boils down to who we are within! Ever wondered why a particular person around you, always radiate with such a positive energy/vibes that you feel enamored with this charming personality, with whom you can be your true-self. These people are not only a compassionately patient listner but also the people you turn to for a piece of advice, help or support, when you need it.
In fact, these are the people whom you subconsciously follow/admire and copy their gesture, posture, style, appearance, dressing sense, even words and speaking style too. Quite enlightening, right?! But, that's true ! 😄
And often you are left wondering, what do they have that you don’t, isn’t??
Well, the answer is seemingly simple, their sense of self-worth comes from within. They don’t constantly search for social validation, because they know doing or saying things just to impress people doesn’t go a long way and prevent a real connection from forming!
What is it that these people have that you need to develop? Read on to know how to become a person, who, multiplies positive energy in the people around them!!
1. Draw the Line: When we meet someone, we want to know all about them from the schools they have been to, to their past and their demons. The irresistible people keep the focus on the positives and leave out the negative traits of the people around them. They know how to maintain one’s private space and are conscious about their private space too.
2. Don’t try too hard to get others to like you: Well the most important trait of irresistebly influential people: they don’t dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and blah blah.. they are. No one likes people who just can’t stop bragging and boasting about themselves. Just spotted a Narcissistic Nat, right? So the trick you ask, well just be yourself and the right people will come along!
3. Art of Real and Deep Conversation often makes People come Alive: Well, you can never form an emotional connection during a conversation, if you stick to small talk only. The fact is, no one likes robotic or mechanical connection, quite simple, right? So, rule of thumb is, ditch the small talk, create connection and find depth even in shortest, and everyday conversations!
4. Make others laugh and learn to steal a laugh too: No other trick is as old as laughing out loud and making the people around you laugh too. Keep the jokes clean and if you are in a bad mood or want to lash back, add the message subtly to it! Everybody loves to be around people who can guarantee a stress-free time.
5. Treat People the Way You want to be Treated: Well this one is the most important one! Even though the rule to respect everybody is a no brainer, but some people just don’t understand it enough. It is important to treat others as you want them to treat you. Irresistible people are consistently polite and respectful (oh yeah! you may call 'em old school but that's where their charm comes from), be it, interacting with their potential business partner or domestic help or a server/waiter taking their food order.
They are great at observing and reading other people, and they adjust their style and behavior to make others feel comfortable!
6. Be a Person of Integrity: Sadly, we rarely see people with Integrity these days. The ratio may be 1 to 1000/s or even higher. People with high integrity do what is right, not what is easy, even when no one is watching 'em. They walk their talk, plain, simple and straight, with no drama involved. Integrity is not something you show to others, it’s how you behave behind their back !
Contrary to these charmers, most people focus more time and energy pin-pointing wrong in others, talking behind their back, gossiping, taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends, seeking constant validation/approval etc, etc... These people are also good lawyers of their own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others. So, given all this, how do you propose to get there!? Well, it's quite simple. Decide which side of the scale you want to be at, and stick to that !
7. Focus on People not YourSelf/Phones: Well, some people have tendencies to glorify their under achievements. And no one likes to be around the people who spend much time thinking and talking about themselves only, highly self-obsessed, isn’t it?
On the contrary, irresistibly influential people don’t obsess over how well they are accepted by others. Instead they focus more on people they are with, it’s what make them seem so effortless. Well, to make this work for you, try putting aside your smart phone and focus on the people you’re with. We all love people who possess a genuine interest in the people around them.
8. Never Overdo: While there are many people who have all the above traits, there are those who always overdo it- be it chats, the need to gossip, habit to show off, over-dressed, even cracking jokes or highlighting their achievements or glorifying their under achievements.
Think about it, how impressed are you by people who constantly want to say something mean or witty or someone who wants to overdo things to grab attention, boast of, or belittling others in the need to show themselves better? Try to strike a balance – from your speech to your behavior to your work life and even your social life, striking a balance is the key!!
9. Be comfortable in Your Skin: This is pretty common though! Some people have doubts about their looks, skills and sometimes even about thier self-worth. The truth is, at times people try too hard to be something/someone that/who people think is ‘irresistible’. So, as much as the people around you admire, people who drive the expensive car, use the latest gadgets or dress up just appropriate, you really have to leave out the idea of impressing someone and be comfortable with who you are.
“Be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else!”
10. Dress to Look Your Best but Don’t Over-do it: In a world where style and dressing sense can truly rule, take a walk around your favorite mall to discover what suits your personality and what complements your natural self. Take some time to set your hair, clean up those dusty shoes and carry a bag that has a structure. Do know that even if you pile up on fashion magazines, they can only be used to highlight your own traits, inner beauty and charm, so, you know the trick now!
11. Authenticity and High Moral Fiber goes a Long way: The most important trait of irresistible people: they are real and authentic. They ain't manipulative and self-serving and you can feel it. So, there is a golden rule- ‘Respect Everyone’. Stand up for the one who is right, make someone’s life easy by helping them or giving them an ear when someone wants to talk, simple as that!
12. Make Smiling your ‘Go to’ Trait: If you are the kind who gets annoyed on every small detail of your day, try to replace that frown, which so easily comes to our face, with an intentional smile. If this is too much to ask, try to start and end any meeting with a flash of those pearly whites and you have just cracked one of the biggest life hacks in the world!
13. Accept and Respect Other's Opinion Like a Pro: The world revolves around what everyone thinks. Think about it- twitter rules the social media scene. While everyone is too busy giving an opinion of someone’s new bag, fashion sense, work life or even their display picture on FB/Insta/Whatsapp !
An extension of that is people having opinions about you too. Think of it as you wearing green glasses and someone else wearing red ones. The world for you will be green while the world for the other person will be red. Hence, learn to hear opinions and understanding that they are not facts. Irresistibly influential people know the difference between two pretty well. Also, they recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they are see things differently, that’s absolutely okay!
14. Never Shy Away from Being Yourself: Always Classic! Authenticity is something you cannot replace-especially if you want to be a real and confident person and swoon people with you charm. Embrace your faults, be sure about your likes and dislikes and stay honest about them.
Don’t like Game of Thrones? Time to come clean! Develop your positives, irresistible people have a common knowledge of what they are good at and they always keep it in the forefront. If you are a good singer, a good conversationalist or a great listener, a poet or writer, a workaholic or simply someone who loves to start their day with meditation or a long jog, keep developing that skill and get others involved in that part of your life. Soon it will become synonymous to your personality.
15. Live the Life to the Fullest: Irresistibly influential people enjoy, what they have, where they are and most importantly, who they are! They’re self-aware, self-assured, confident and don’t constantly look for validations. They are positive and passionate about things they do.
They believe in living a life that feels good on the inside, not a life that just looks good on the outside. So, keep calm, live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive !!
Well anyone can learn these appealing traits and qualities as their own. All you need is, to allow yourself some time to embrace these tips and soon you will be in a room to become the heart and soul of the place.
It’s simple, focus more on people around you than your phone, and make other people feel liked, respected, understood, and and most importantly "gotten"!
After all, we are all puzzles trying to figure out who we truly are. Just remember one thing: the more you focus on others genuinely, the more irresistible you’ll be!
Don’t forget to share these life hacks with someone else and make someone feel good about themselves too!