"16 Life lessons from the movie “Dear Zindagi"
“Dear Zindagi” surprised the audience with the remarkably noteworthy storyline but what truly steals the show, is the way a charming and ambitious but messy and completely screwed up 20-something girl, Koko- finds her way through the mess of an adult life by meeting Jug (her Psychologist). A movie so nicely carved out at the nuances of life indeed gave us some serious notes.
For all the stress, anxiety and sheer dead ends that our generation has to come face to face with, the film is a breath of fresh air that gave some simple yet big life goals to anyone who wants to cope with the cons in life and come out of it like a true winner. Almost every 20/30-something would have been able to relate with this movie with their moment of “Ouch, it’s me!” during the movie. To break it down to you, read on to find 16 powerful life lessons that made the movie a keeper!
1. Believe in second chances:
The beauty of life is in seeing things unfold for the second time. Give second chances to your passion, your career choices and the people that you instinctually know can do better. Most importantly, we need to give our parents second chance too, so do your homework and call ’em up today!
2. Make Self-respect your Second Skin:
Self-respect, especially for a woman is considered only if it can conveniently serve someone else. Make sure your self-respect becomes your second nature- something that people cannot detach you with and soon you will only be approached by people who multiply your energy. Ego is negative but self-respect is positive and necessary, don’t let someone get comfortable with disrespecting you!
3. On the mind, on your face:
As children, we are often made to express the opposite of what we feel. Made to smile when we are angry and made to appear calm when we are a chaotic mess. Soon we enter relationships and we are left clueless why people misunderstand us. Quite tricky, right? Keep it simple. Express sadness with tears, happiness with laughter and anxiety with a talk that addresses just that. It’s as simple as that!
4. Everyone has to find themselves:
In the deleted scenes (yes, we believe in seeing what is left out too!), Jug takes Koko to a fort and reveals the story of Donna Maria who came to Goa from Brazil and stayed here for 20 years. She lived 14 of those years as a man to survive and lived deceptively as Balthazar (a soldier). After fighting in many battles, Balthazar was injured and her doctor found out her secret. Scared to death, she came out to tell her story that was accepted with admiration and respect. Lesson u ask?? You need to find yourself again even if you are lost in a world of imagination that you have created.
5. “Find your Chair”:
The most famous thought form the movie holds on to the idea of trying out different things and even meeting many people before you settle down with your life partner. If you cannot buy a chair without choosing, how can you make such a hasty decision with your life partner?
6. Stay away from Judgments:
The whole society dwells on judgments. And that is exactly what you should repel. Avoid judging other people and their life choice and stand up for yourself when people are judging you. Be yourself, be proud of your choices and don’t let other bog you down with their judgement.
7. Accept your past for a better future:
The hardest thing we can relate to is why we have certain preconceived fears and notions in our life. The answer is always in the past. Reflect back into your life and try to find why you are unhappy with your current life. Accept your past but don’t live there!
8. If you can have an easy way, have it!
In times when life is real hard to get by, if you have something that makes your life easy, do it. Just remember that your self-respect, values and morals should not be compromised and if it helps, take help!
9. Hard decisions don’t guarantee success:
The most successful people often talk about their struggling years and we as the new generation have accepted struggling as a part of success. Stitch this thought and if having a day job means you can moonlight as an artist without worrying about paying bills, do it!
10. Talk to your family:
The hardest conversations are with our family members. Sit down and talk to them at least 30 minute in a week and you will see just how much there is to talk about. Listen to them about their circumstances and problems and how they coped and talk about your struggles and daily life too. We are so busy in our lives, we often forget they are growing old too, so talk to them as and when possible!
11. Seek professional help for mental health and emotional well-being:
The taboo of mental health means by the time you do accept that you need professional help, there will be someone who will ridicule the idea of you visiting a Psychologist or Counsellor. Do know that the professional can at least give you an added perspective and really help to solve your problems. Thanks indeed to Gauri Shinde for bringing this most avoided topic to mainstream conversation through her cinema. Talking about grief, depression, emotional challenges and being sad over the dinner table is completely normal.
12. Be Kind to yourself:
The most understated fact in this growing world of rat race is the need to criticize oneself for, be it looks, career choices or relationships in the need to be better. Take some time off and truly cherish your current yet true self. Accept that you have flaws and that they make you unique. Well, making mistakes is anytime better than faking perfection!
13. The More, the merrier? Probably not !
The most inconvenient task in the world is to make living, have a job, take some time out for yourself and entertain a huge number of colleagues and acquittance. So, the solution is to restrict the number of people you spend quality time with – you closest buddies and your family is all you will ever need. “Quality of friends” is more important than “Quantity of friends”. A real friend is one who walks in, when the rest of the world walks out, who wouldn’t change whether your situation was 10 times better or worse. They are your real wealth, never lose them!
14. Relish in the smaller things in life:
In the rate race of having a better lifestyle, we are stuck in a haze with the world rushing by. Amidst the late-night meetings, job deadline, relationship goals and fitness classes, take some time off to admire the simple things in life, like a cup of coffee on a rainy day, reading your favorite book, a nap with you kid, cuddling with your partner, and mindless walk in the evening with some good music or just chit-chatting with your spouse over a cup of tea (my personal fav! ☺️).
‘Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.’
15. Know that nothing is a 100% perfect:
The most dreadful disappointments happen when you are left stuck with the idea that perfection exists. From the ground, you walk onto the paintings of the biggest artists, to the most beautiful face you will ever see, know that perfection is the opposite of uniqueness. And as the idea of perfection changes, so does the idea of happiness.
16. Leave the idea of being ‘Normal’ or to “Fit in”:
The term ‘Normal’ is probably one of the most overrated terms ever used. Some people think having a 9 to 5 job is normal or being married by 25 is normal and any combination above and beyond that is considered either a taboo or a disappointment. Let go of the notion of being Normal and Fitting-in and you will see beauty in your uniqueness. Don’t try to fit in when you were born to stand out !
The stunning movie eaves nothing to the imagination and is simply a letter to life from life. We hope these pointers help you to cope with your inner and outer demons. After all, you are your biggest strength and weakness. As long as you are being true to yourself, you will always find inner peace and priceless happiness !😄